sitting, waiting, wishing

why is it so hard to share feelings? is it because we don't want to vulnerable in fear of getting rejected? or maybe it's because we don't want to hurt the other persons feelings... whatever the case may be, talking about feelings, good or bad, sucks.

this year i'm taking one of the greatest skills that i have learned from work, and applying it to my personal life. friends, strangers, family, etc. it's called open and honest communication. i am so tired of holding shit in that i just am not going to do it anymore. i mean seriously, like what good does it do me if i never tell someone that i like them? it doesn't hurt if you don't expect anything out of it, or take it too hard. there is so much more to gain by using your voice, than by staying quiet.

so here's my shit:

1. i don't like to be snapped at. i don't appreciate rude teasing, just so you can feel more superior or deal with your frustrations. I WILL call you on it, and ask you to stop, because it hurts my feelings. it's uncalled for, and people are just happier when it's not done.

2. i am really going to try to be level headed about things. no more excessive caring or agonizing over a situation. just let it go. for so long i've cared too much, and received so little in return. don't get me wrong, i have a huge heart, it's just gonna be harder to break now.

3. i'm closing this big bad ugly ass door on all the things that have made me unhappy. so hello, new year, new me, and cheers to being happy!

4. i'm gonna do things how i want to do them, when (well in my own time frame), and whatever else that ME ME ME wants to do. i'm not going to strive to please others. just a certain few that really matter to me, but that's just because i love them and want to make them proud :)

keep it real yo.