over the past few days, my life has been filled with odd coincidences that make me feel very awkward. however, the people that these situations are based around really have no idea. or maybe they do and i just don't know. all the better. anyways. being presented with such encounters has really got me thinking. something which i would rather not think about. why? because i was played by an asshole, and deeply hurt my best friend.
this was going to be a huge rant about all the things that happened and that were fucked up. but what i am really mad about is just what i did. i'm mad about who i let myself become in order to satisfy my need for being wanted. not that i wasn't getting that, but in my mind i wasn't getting enough of it. it's really a rotten thing. i'm so insecure, when i really shouldn't be. i don't need anyones approval except my own.
so tonight. i have decided to set a concrete foot down and start fresh. fresh from old thoughts, old wants, and old feelings. no longer will i think of you, talk about you, or remember anything that has to do with you. you are a closed chapter in an old book. i do not wish you harm. i am not happy nor angry with you. you are nothing to me. if i see you, please do not talk to me. i am acknowledging what type of person i was when i was around you, and have decided that that is not who i wish to be.
the end.
