words are important. you can write them in print or cursive, color them any way you choose, dress them up in fancy ways, or just leave it plain and simple. it's easiest to understand them in black and white, but doesn't always convey the best message. words are free and simple, and sometimes are the most thoughtful thing that you can give.
there are so many words that we long to hear. i love you, im proud of you, will you marry me, it's a girl/boy, some are scary.you're fired, i hate you, i want a divorce, he/she is dead. and some are both. i'm pregnant, we're moving. all of these sounds formed together by our mouths, and registered in our brains as having a significant importance and feeling attached...mean so so much.
now, words can be meaningless too. all of those things we long to hear can come from someone who we don't care about and we can just let it roll off. no big deal.
what happens when someone that you do care about, doesn't say those things you long to hear. is it ok to drop hints? sure....but then is it genuine? you're now stuck in this guessing game of whether the emotion behind the words is real or not.
i guess i don't really know where i'm going with this, other that we depict who's words have importance and who's do not.
my sister wrote me a letter for my birthday shoved inside a giant pencil. it wasn't anything extravagant, but she took the time to write it, and it came from the heart. i don't think things get much better than that :)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
oh, the places you will go...
why are decisions so hard?
earlier this year every choice i made seemed to be black and white. so easy to decide on what should be done, with whom and where. but now...it's not.
i guess when struck with tragedy, or a life changing situation, decisions are made easily. our main focus might be a) just fucking survival or b) what will make us happy. that's my new mantra for this year: do what makes you happy.
so now my hard spot is that i have this incredible man that i love, and am completely happy every day with him. we share the same dreams, and just are similar in a lot of different ways. for the first time in years, i feel that the love i am giving is actually being returned. it's such an amazing feeling!
now there's the whole florida deal. i really am in love with the place. it's so beautiful and i've enjoyed it every time i have gone. (minus the mosquito's haha) i was so eager to leave and get everything going after the new year 'resolution' that i got everything all set to go and stuff. but now i'm not sure if i was just eager for a new start or really really wanting to go. i think maybe both.
this new guy i have, well he's so supportive of what i want to do. there are a few things on the west coast that are kind of important things for me to go to, so i don't really want to miss that. i want to spend time with my family before i leave, but will have to wait until after tax season, and just...there's so many things to tackle before i move. i don't want to move away from my newfound love, but a little i know in my heart that i need to do this florida thing. idk what time frame and people keep asking and asking and i just want to scream because i don't know and i hate not having a plan and why can't we just fold the united states in half so washington is so much closer to florida. plz.k.thx.
earlier this year every choice i made seemed to be black and white. so easy to decide on what should be done, with whom and where. but now...it's not.
i guess when struck with tragedy, or a life changing situation, decisions are made easily. our main focus might be a) just fucking survival or b) what will make us happy. that's my new mantra for this year: do what makes you happy.
so now my hard spot is that i have this incredible man that i love, and am completely happy every day with him. we share the same dreams, and just are similar in a lot of different ways. for the first time in years, i feel that the love i am giving is actually being returned. it's such an amazing feeling!
now there's the whole florida deal. i really am in love with the place. it's so beautiful and i've enjoyed it every time i have gone. (minus the mosquito's haha) i was so eager to leave and get everything going after the new year 'resolution' that i got everything all set to go and stuff. but now i'm not sure if i was just eager for a new start or really really wanting to go. i think maybe both.
this new guy i have, well he's so supportive of what i want to do. there are a few things on the west coast that are kind of important things for me to go to, so i don't really want to miss that. i want to spend time with my family before i leave, but will have to wait until after tax season, and just...there's so many things to tackle before i move. i don't want to move away from my newfound love, but a little i know in my heart that i need to do this florida thing. idk what time frame and people keep asking and asking and i just want to scream because i don't know and i hate not having a plan and why can't we just fold the united states in half so washington is so much closer to florida. plz.k.thx.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
my take on the matter...
so. yesterday morning i watched the kony 2012 video on youtube. it really moved me. it also brought up a lot of controvery on facebook, some of which i found extremely small minded. i tried to not take it too harshly, being that it's their opinion and they are entitled to it. also, it's their facebook where they can say what they would like, and i don't have to read it. but here are my thoughts on the matter. you don't have to like it but it's mine.
1. i think it's remarkably noble for this man to take it upon himself to create awareness of a terrible tyrant and strive to make a better life for those less fortunate and for those who are unable to help himself. it's selfless. i find it stupid for people to critisize everyone caring all of a sudden because his film brought awareness about this issue going on. i personally wouldn't have known about it unless i had watched the video. i don't get on google and try to discover what bad shit is going on in whichever country. so i offer him a big thank you about opening my eyes to something that i wouldn't have known about. and damn straight i'm going to support him.
2. this bullshit about "oh there's hungry kids everywhere and why don't we worry about the one in america first or other countries" well you know what? there are hungry kids everywhere. this man didn't choose africa just for shits and giggles. he went there. he saw it. he felt for them. he chose to make a difference. if he hadn't done something about it, do you think we would even be thinking about it right now? or would it just get swept under the rug, and eventually turn into a genocide? i mean look at what a beautiful thing he is doing. out of the kindness and concern from his heart, he's trying to make a difference. there is such a bigger picture to look at than who HE is choosing to help. this is one man. one man's choice. one man's efforts. there are several other organizations to help children in america or other countries....why don't you promote one of those if you have such a problem with him trying to help the one he is choosing. everyone has free will to support who they want. why don't you start doing something to help those children in america that are hungry, instead of just complain about what someone is not doing.
3. sitting back and doing nothing is not an option. saying that God will take care of it is a cop out. i believe in God and love him with all of my heart. i have full faith in his capabilities, but i do not believe in sitting back and doing nothing while evil is happening. what happened to being kind and loving thy neighbor, and caring for those less fortunate than you? hebrews 13:16: do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. philippians 2:4: let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. john 3:17: but if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? i could go on and on. but seriously....take some responsibility for yourself.
4. this thing. this awareness. this movement. it could change a lot of things. if one man can make a video and get the whole world to care, imagine how that can work for voting, and changing the way we vote and how our government works to where it is really about the people and not how people in congress just get to run things. if instead of two voting parties we actually had the interest of our people and of ourselves. it just means a lot of different things and i think to close your mind and critique what this man is doing, you're extremely selfish and stupid. i don't like to call people stupid, but come on now.
1. i think it's remarkably noble for this man to take it upon himself to create awareness of a terrible tyrant and strive to make a better life for those less fortunate and for those who are unable to help himself. it's selfless. i find it stupid for people to critisize everyone caring all of a sudden because his film brought awareness about this issue going on. i personally wouldn't have known about it unless i had watched the video. i don't get on google and try to discover what bad shit is going on in whichever country. so i offer him a big thank you about opening my eyes to something that i wouldn't have known about. and damn straight i'm going to support him.
2. this bullshit about "oh there's hungry kids everywhere and why don't we worry about the one in america first or other countries" well you know what? there are hungry kids everywhere. this man didn't choose africa just for shits and giggles. he went there. he saw it. he felt for them. he chose to make a difference. if he hadn't done something about it, do you think we would even be thinking about it right now? or would it just get swept under the rug, and eventually turn into a genocide? i mean look at what a beautiful thing he is doing. out of the kindness and concern from his heart, he's trying to make a difference. there is such a bigger picture to look at than who HE is choosing to help. this is one man. one man's choice. one man's efforts. there are several other organizations to help children in america or other countries....why don't you promote one of those if you have such a problem with him trying to help the one he is choosing. everyone has free will to support who they want. why don't you start doing something to help those children in america that are hungry, instead of just complain about what someone is not doing.
3. sitting back and doing nothing is not an option. saying that God will take care of it is a cop out. i believe in God and love him with all of my heart. i have full faith in his capabilities, but i do not believe in sitting back and doing nothing while evil is happening. what happened to being kind and loving thy neighbor, and caring for those less fortunate than you? hebrews 13:16: do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. philippians 2:4: let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. john 3:17: but if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? i could go on and on. but seriously....take some responsibility for yourself.
4. this thing. this awareness. this movement. it could change a lot of things. if one man can make a video and get the whole world to care, imagine how that can work for voting, and changing the way we vote and how our government works to where it is really about the people and not how people in congress just get to run things. if instead of two voting parties we actually had the interest of our people and of ourselves. it just means a lot of different things and i think to close your mind and critique what this man is doing, you're extremely selfish and stupid. i don't like to call people stupid, but come on now.
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