why are decisions so hard?
earlier this year every choice i made seemed to be black and white. so easy to decide on what should be done, with whom and where. but now...it's not.
i guess when struck with tragedy, or a life changing situation, decisions are made easily. our main focus might be a) just fucking survival or b) what will make us happy. that's my new mantra for this year: do what makes you happy.
so now my hard spot is that i have this incredible man that i love, and am completely happy every day with him. we share the same dreams, and just are similar in a lot of different ways. for the first time in years, i feel that the love i am giving is actually being returned. it's such an amazing feeling!
now there's the whole florida deal. i really am in love with the place. it's so beautiful and i've enjoyed it every time i have gone. (minus the mosquito's haha) i was so eager to leave and get everything going after the new year 'resolution' that i got everything all set to go and stuff. but now i'm not sure if i was just eager for a new start or really really wanting to go. i think maybe both.
this new guy i have, well he's so supportive of what i want to do. there are a few things on the west coast that are kind of important things for me to go to, so i don't really want to miss that. i want to spend time with my family before i leave, but will have to wait until after tax season, and just...there's so many things to tackle before i move. i don't want to move away from my newfound love, but a little i know in my heart that i need to do this florida thing. idk what time frame and people keep asking and asking and i just want to scream because i don't know and i hate not having a plan and why can't we just fold the united states in half so washington is so much closer to florida. plz.k.thx.
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